Naomi James

The Folly of External Validation

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Oftentimes, the way people view things is entirely different from the way things are meant to be viewed. Happiness, the central theme of this piece can only be searched from within. It certainly is elusive to do otherwise. It is something that springs from within; something that occurs naturally out of an intense desire for joy in one’s life. These days love is searched for in all the wrong places, External validation has become a tool to reckon with .People allow external validation when they notice that the society carves some sort of feeling for anyone willing to appear happy on the outside.
The essence of this essay is to explain that external validation can never be food for the soul; it is not a tool to reckon with. People tend to mistake social media for real life and then endanger their real life for an imitation of happiness on social sites. External validation makes you measure your life according to the rate of likes you get on Instagram, it makes you judge people when you should only appreciate. External validation creates some kind of inferiority complex when one seems not to be recognized.
External validation tends to give people a two- way identification pattern and once the likes on Instagram is above 100 then it’s worth it. I really wonder what would happen if suddenly social media vanishes, with all the likes and all the comments. Of course there will be emptiness in the soul
Happiness and fulfillment should be an everyday job and not only when data is one. Social media can make you feel bad about yourself. The tendency of this is actually high especially when you see a person presumably doing better than you.
Search for happiness in the right places. Enjoy your own company, Eat good food, make new friends and compliment old ones. Tools of vitality come from within. Life is not meant to be externally validated.
One of the basic dangers of external validation is that it creates a huge vacuum in the space for soul lifting. Not just social media. Now, it is really bad to expect someone to comment on something good you have done before you actually think it’s good. It reduces one’s sense of worth. The mind is trained to love itself and all that it can get. External validation creates a scenario where the mind is stimulated to wait until someone credits it. The same society that preaches about the importance of creating a platform for events in your life on the social sites is the same society that will judge and use it as a tool to criticize you when the time arises. It’s like the saying that “society asks you to be yourself and judge you for that”.
      Addiction to social media or to the world where you do not have a say is bad for one’s emotional health and mental well being. 

Naomi James
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